I
know this is my first post in a few months, but here I am! Because of the
reality of
blogs slowly dying out and because of the time I have available, I have resorted to
using time-saving Facebook, Instagram, Tout, YouTube, and Twitter to log my daily
activities of which I hope you are all following! Also, they’re a lot more
fun! I am now home safe and sound from
Vegas and I have had a little bit of time to reflect on my experiences at Miss
America (MA).
First of all, I want to take this time to shine my spotlight on others. There are so many people who have sacrificed their time, finances, and efforts to help me soar higher than I’ve ever gone and the many valuable experiences I’ve had so far as Miss California and representing our Golden State at MA-- I owe so much gratitude to all of you. Before I left for Vegas, I was overwhelmed with love and support whether it was through phone calls, texts, emails, tokens, etc. But I especially felt so much more love and support WHILE I was in Vegas. I have not been able to catch up on all your sweet texts, calls, and posts, but I will do my best. Just know that I got it and felt it and I will cherish your words and support forever!
Since
competing in MAO eight years ago, I didn’t know it at the time, but I had a lot
to learn about myself! In the
beginning, I had so little speaking skills, no people skills, and not enough
performing experience. It blows my mind that I am here now writing this as
Miss California 2012 and I just returned from a privileged, once-in-a-lifetime
experience of competing for the crown at Miss America! In addition to my
family, the best of friends, and my Faith, I am proud to say the Miss America
Organization has made me into the woman I am today.
The
first thought I had after being crowned Miss California was, “OMGosh! I’m Miss
California!” And the second thought was, “OMGosh! I get to go to Miss America!” After
the initial whirlwind of my California victory, I immediately started preparing
for Miss America. I dedicated 200+
hours to my health and fitness (I think Core Arts made me look pretty good!), I
had multiple mock interviews and one-on-one drill and practice with Bob, my
Executive Director, which gave me the confidence to conduct what I thought was
my best interview. I played my heart out on stage (too bad the mic was put in
the wrong place and I was too distracted to notice, but I’m nitpicking), and I
wore the Evening Gown of my dreams (by Gregory Ellenburg) in addition to wearing a wardrobe
exquisitely chosen and loaned to me by CA’s best stylist, Nikki, and sponsor
Mia Bella.
Performing
on the Miss America stage was a dream come true and I know I was living it for
other girls who share that dream.
The week quickly gathered many incredible experiences like Laura (FL)
and I doing multiple radio shows starting at 5 a.m, fun outings, TV interviews,
VIP status, and meeting and forming lifelong friendships with dynamic, funny,
and inspiring young women. I felt proud all week to acknowledge that I had
improved and grown so much since my crowning in Fresno. I was confident I would
make the cut at MA. After all, I had the best from the best team and I felt so
proud I was ending my journey to MA with so many things in my favor – especially
carrying the history of Miss California’s success.
Needless
to say, it was shocking and absolutely heartbreaking when I didn’t hear
California called for the Top 15.
It was not how I wanted my journey to MA to end. In fact, I had horrible nightmares up
to that point of that very thing happening, but I got to wake up in my bed and
truthfully, it was not even a consideration. I had envisioned making Top 15 and anything else after that
would be gravy. I don’t think that
expectation was unreasonable considering my history and CA’s history of
success.
After
the Top 15 were read and rushed off the stage, the rest of the girls and I sat
off to the side to what we girls dubbed “The Loser Lounge”. So many
thoughts and emotions were running through my head in those first few seconds:
I was SO sad my family, friends, and pageant family were sitting in the
audience not able to watch their hard efforts be showcased, including Gregory Ellenburg whose spectacular dresses I wanted to show off to the world. I
was thinking about all my friends and family at home that had planned viewing
parties and didn't get to see me compete. I was thinking about all the
youth that I have spoken to, including the smiles on many little girls I have
met telling me they were excited to watch me on TV. I was embarrassed
that seven successful celebrity judges didn't like me. I was thinking
about my sponsors and was worried about what they thought of me. I was
thinking about Bob and what he was thinking of me and the disappointment he
must have felt. I knew this
humiliating moment was feeding the blood-thirst of CA’s critics. My
nightmare came true. I was the first Miss CA in 10 years to not make the cut
and I wanted to crawl into the cracks of those ugly sofas and die.
I
wanted to slither to the back section of the "loser's lounge" and cry
with some of the other girls who were losing their composure. Instead, I
decided to sit in the front and, although dazed, soak up the rest of this
once-in-a-lifetime experience even though it didn't go "my" way. I
still knew I was Miss California and that fact alone made me grab the seat in
front with those other amazing girls and enjoy the show with a well-earned
donut! Eating that donut on
National TV was definitely a major highlight of my week!
After the show, I contemplated whether or not I should even show up to Visitation because I was ashamed and afraid to face Bob and the people who have invested so much in me, but I knew that if I didn’t, I would regret it. What happened after, I will never forget for the rest of my life. It is still so tender for me to recall that I have tears as I write and share this with you: at Visitation, I walked across the stage to receive my "State Representative" award from Marc Angeli. Then, who was standing there to escort me off the platform? Bob. He took my hand and immediately pulled me into his arms and said to me, "You're still my girl and we're in this together." I couldn't respond because of the overflow of tears, then he grabbed my hand and we walked over to the California table to greet everyone else. I was overwhelmed with love and support from everyone there. My awesome parents swept me up first and we shared more tears of joy and sadness. I was greeted by my grama Rosie, Chelle, Patti Wunderlich, Mindy Schreiber, Glenn and Kathi Baldwin, Marie Theurich, Ernie Koneck, Tom Moletteire, Stacy Margolin, Jennifer Gallo, my Miss CA sisters Stephanie, Rebekah, and Patricia, my awesome friends-for-life-contestant sisters, and so many others! We stayed at the visitation table for a good hour or so laughing, hugging, and crying and we were the last ones out of the ballroom. As the ballroom tables were being folded up and rolled out, I left with Bob's hand in mine and behind me a collage of powerful, unforgettable, poignant memories of Miss America. Even though it was broken, my heart was full of gratitude and love.
The next
morning, more friends and family came to my Aunt’s condo to share breakfast and
more good times. What I didn’t
know was what had gone viral since the 20/20 documentary, shown an hour before
the pageant...
"That's a vaccine, correct?"
I knew they were using the sound byte of that mock interview in previews for the show but didn’t worry too much about it because I knew there was more to it. After all, when ABC first solicited California in August to be featured in their documentary they assured us they wanted to spend time with several girls to feature the qualities of the MAO and the hard work the girls do behind the scenes for their platforms. They wanted to see what we do to prepare and maintain the title of Miss State.
To Bob’s credit, he was hesitant and protective at first
knowing how sometimes editing could have the effects of exactly the opposite
desire. But we were assured that this exposure would help MAO and the charities
the girls speak for. ABC filmed me
for 3 straight days in September. They did this with several other contestants
as well. Bob and I took them
EVERYWHERE. We took them to our sponsors Mia Bella Couture, Pink Door Salon,
Mike Douglass, Core Arts Pilates, Volkswagen of Garden Grove, and to my harp
lessons. We took them to the beach to surf, workout, met the family for 3 hours,
bacon cheeseburgers, Children’s Hospital of OC, and many other places.
That is what you and the rest of America saw, but what wasn't
shown was what happened the second after the answer was clarified. I smacked my
forehead giggling through my already prepared opinion about euthanasia. The
panel and I had a good laugh and the interview was over, much in the same
manner they featured Utah and Wyoming’s mock interviews. That part was not shown on TV and it’s
very unfortunate that ABC edited it this way. We did so many wonderful things
during those long 3 days and had many fun and laughable moments, all the while
the crew telling us how impressed they were with our program, but none of that
was shown. Instead, ABC thought it was more entertaining to catch a moment and
not give it any dignity. Lara
Spencer came to me the week before Christmas for more interviews. She asked me about the blunder in the
mock and I recalled the scene with her but they only saved how I was
embarrassed and felt dumb.
Another interesting note, ABC was there in Vegas to follow up
right after my Miss America interview last week. They asked me about the infamous Euthanasia question I had
quickly become famous for, so I held my head high and had fun with it. None of
that was shown either! It almost seemed that they were not interested in
laughing WITH me, only AT me.
I’m so glad I have a wonderful team of love around me to understand this
crazy thing. Even my friend, Bill Handel on KFIAM640 and his producers, made a
sweet effort on his shows prior to Miss America and after to stick up for me
and talked about how careless editing can injure a person’s character and
intentions and they gave me some amazing creds.
Ya know, here I was worried after all this heartbreak about
what my legacy would be as Miss California 2012. I guess if all else fails, perhaps I could use the headline
from a recent internet article about me: “Miss California invents a new
vaccine!” Not too shabby!
In closing, I have to say that I feel SO BLESSED to be Miss California. MA didn’t turn out how I wanted nor expected, but I have the best six months of my life coming up. There is so much more to do and I have made a new list of goals to achieve. I am SOOO happy for Mallory Hagan, our new Miss America! She is one cool chick! She is spunky, fun, outspoken, and REAL. The judges for sure got that right! I loved getting to know Mallory all week and I know she will be a memorable and relatable Miss America. YOU GO GIRL! I'm so proud of her. Let’s make sure to give her a great California welcome at IHOP for CMN’s pancake day coming up this Spring!
To the Miss California Class of 2013, these next 6 months are
about YOU and we are going to have a blast in Fresno and on a new Duke of
Edinburg adventure I’m planning! I hope ALL of you enroll after you win
your local title! My goal is to make you ALL feel like rockstars and to make
this the best experience of your life- win OR lose!
I have a 9-day trip to France coming up next week, a trip to
China, and a probable trip to Rome and Austria coming up as well. So much
excitement! I have a Miss CA 2013
Class to make plans with and much more social media to post. I feel
desperate my year is half over!
My next stop before France is a weekend at the Miss
Merced/Miss Yosemite Valley/Miss Sierra Nevada Pageant. I will not be
able to bring my harp, so I will be singing instead! If I don't see you
there, I hope to see you soon!
I finish my blog post with a grateful and humble heart.
My cup runneth over with amazing people in my life and experiences of my
past and yet to come!
With love,
Leah Cecil
Miss California 2012
