Thursday, January 17, 2013

Lights, Camera...Vaccine!

I know this is my first post in a few months, but here I am!  Because of the reality of blogs slowly dying out and because of the time I have available, I have resorted to using time-saving FacebookInstagramToutYouTube, and Twitter  to log my daily activities of which I hope you are all following!  Also, they’re a lot more fun!  I am now home safe and sound from Vegas and I have had a little bit of time to reflect on my experiences at Miss America (MA). 

First of all, I want to take this time to shine my spotlight on others.  There are so many people who have sacrificed their time, finances, and efforts to help me soar higher than I’ve ever gone and the many valuable experiences I’ve had so far as Miss California and representing our Golden State at MA-- I owe so much gratitude to all of you. Before I left for Vegas, I was overwhelmed with love and support whether it was through phone calls, texts, emails, tokens, etc.  But I especially felt so much more love and support WHILE I was in Vegas. I have not been able to catch up on all your sweet texts, calls, and posts, but I will do my best.  Just know that I got it and felt it and I will cherish your words and support forever!  

Since competing in MAO eight years ago, I didn’t know it at the time, but I had a lot to learn about myself!  In the beginning, I had so little speaking skills, no people skills, and not enough performing experience.  It blows my mind that I am here now writing this as Miss California 2012 and I just returned from a privileged, once-in-a-lifetime experience of competing for the crown at Miss America!  In addition to my family, the best of friends, and my Faith, I am proud to say the Miss America Organization has made me into the woman I am today.

The first thought I had after being crowned Miss California was, “OMGosh! I’m Miss California!” And the second thought was, “OMGosh! I get to go to Miss America!”  After the initial whirlwind of my California victory, I immediately started preparing for Miss America.  I dedicated 200+ hours to my health and fitness (I think Core Arts made me look pretty good!), I had multiple mock interviews and one-on-one drill and practice with Bob, my Executive Director, which gave me the confidence to conduct what I thought was my best interview. I played my heart out on stage (too bad the mic was put in the wrong place and I was too distracted to notice, but I’m nitpicking), and I wore the Evening Gown of my dreams (by Gregory Ellenburg) in addition to wearing a wardrobe exquisitely chosen and loaned to me by CA’s best stylist, Nikki, and sponsor Mia Bella. 

Performing on the Miss America stage was a dream come true and I know I was living it for other girls who share that dream.  The week quickly gathered many incredible experiences like Laura (FL) and I doing multiple radio shows starting at 5 a.m, fun outings, TV interviews, VIP status, and meeting and forming lifelong friendships with dynamic, funny, and inspiring young women. I felt proud all week to acknowledge that I had improved and grown so much since my crowning in Fresno. I was confident I would make the cut at MA. After all, I had the best from the best team and I felt so proud I was ending my journey to MA with so many things in my favor – especially carrying the history of Miss California’s success.

Needless to say, it was shocking and absolutely heartbreaking when I didn’t hear California called for the Top 15.  It was not how I wanted my journey to MA to end.  In fact, I had horrible nightmares up to that point of that very thing happening, but I got to wake up in my bed and truthfully, it was not even a consideration.  I had envisioned making Top 15 and anything else after that would be gravy.  I don’t think that expectation was unreasonable considering my history and CA’s history of success.

After the Top 15 were read and rushed off the stage, the rest of the girls and I sat off to the side to what we girls dubbed “The Loser Lounge”.  So many thoughts and emotions were running through my head in those first few seconds:  I was SO sad my family, friends, and pageant family were sitting in the audience not able to watch their hard efforts be showcased, including Gregory Ellenburg whose spectacular dresses I wanted to show off to the world.  I was thinking about all my friends and family at home that had planned viewing parties and didn't get to see me compete.  I was thinking about all the youth that I have spoken to, including the smiles on many little girls I have met telling me they were excited to watch me on TV.  I was embarrassed that seven successful celebrity judges didn't like me.  I was thinking about my sponsors and was worried about what they thought of me.  I was thinking about Bob and what he was thinking of me and the disappointment he must have felt.  I knew this humiliating moment was feeding the blood-thirst of CA’s critics. My nightmare came true. I was the first Miss CA in 10 years to not make the cut and I wanted to crawl into the cracks of those ugly sofas and die.    

I wanted to slither to the back section of the "loser's lounge" and cry with some of the other girls who were losing their composure.  Instead, I decided to sit in the front and, although dazed, soak up the rest of this once-in-a-lifetime experience even though it didn't go "my" way. I still knew I was Miss California and that fact alone made me grab the seat in front with those other amazing girls and enjoy the show with a well-earned donut!  Eating that donut on National TV was definitely a major highlight of my week!

After the show, I contemplated whether or not I should even show up to Visitation because I was ashamed and afraid to face Bob and the people who have invested so much in me, but I knew that if I didn’t, I would regret it. What happened after, I will never forget for the rest of my life.  It is still so tender for me to recall that I have tears as I write and share this with you:  at Visitation, I walked across the stage to receive my "State Representative" award from Marc Angeli.  Then, who was standing there to escort me off the platform?  Bob.  He took my hand and immediately pulled me into his arms and said to me, "You're still my girl and we're in this together."  I couldn't respond because of the overflow of tears, then he grabbed my hand and we walked over to the California table to greet everyone else.  I was overwhelmed with love and support from everyone there. My awesome parents swept me up first and we shared more tears of joy and sadness.  I was greeted by my grama Rosie, Chelle, Patti Wunderlich, Mindy Schreiber, Glenn and Kathi Baldwin, Marie Theurich, Ernie Koneck, Tom Moletteire, Stacy Margolin, Jennifer Gallo, my Miss CA sisters Stephanie, Rebekah, and Patricia, my awesome friends-for-life-contestant sisters, and so many others!  We stayed at the visitation table for a good hour or so laughing, hugging, and crying and we were the last ones out of the ballroom.  As the ballroom tables were being folded up and rolled out, I left with Bob's hand in mine and behind me a collage of powerful, unforgettable, poignant memories of Miss America. Even though it was broken, my heart was full of gratitude and love.
The next morning, more friends and family came to my Aunt’s condo to share breakfast and more good times.  What I didn’t know was what had gone viral since the 20/20 documentary, shown an hour before the pageant...

"That's a vaccine, correct?"

I knew they were using the sound byte of that mock interview in previews for the show but didn’t worry too much about it because I knew there was more to it.  After all, when ABC first solicited California in August to be featured in their documentary they assured us they wanted to spend time with several girls to feature the qualities of the MAO and the hard work the girls do behind the scenes for their platforms.  They wanted to see what we do to prepare and maintain the title of Miss State.

To Bob’s credit, he was hesitant and protective at first knowing how sometimes editing could have the effects of exactly the opposite desire. But we were assured that this exposure would help MAO and the charities the girls speak for.  ABC filmed me for 3 straight days in September. They did this with several other contestants as well.  Bob and I took them EVERYWHERE. We took them to our sponsors Mia Bella Couture, Pink Door Salon, Mike Douglass, Core Arts Pilates, Volkswagen of Garden Grove, and to my harp lessons. We took them to the beach to surf, workout, met the family for 3 hours, bacon cheeseburgers, Children’s Hospital of OC, and many other places.  

One of the events was a mock interview. The interview was the very last thing on the filming itinerary and by that time of the evening, I was beat. Earlier that day, they came to my harp lesson, and then I played harp for the kids at CHOC, then gave a speech at the Rotary Club of Orange.  Even with the late hour without dinner and barely any lunch, I was up for the mock interview.  I was doing well with numerous tough questions. I was even willing to go 5 minutes past the limit, and then the Euthanasia question came up.  It was the perfect storm.  In that moment I froze and my mind went blank. I said, "I'm not very educated on that subject" as a way to stall and come up with an answer (a technique MCO and Dale Carnegie has trained in us contestants), but nothing could come out except the dumb remark.  Even if they had asked me what my favorite color was or anything about maps, at that end-of-line moment I wouldn’t have known what to say. "It's a vaccine, correct?" The moment it came out of my mouth I was humiliated and embarrassed, especially when the panel-member gave me his definition. <Cut Scene>

That is what you and the rest of America saw, but what wasn't shown was what happened the second after the answer was clarified. I smacked my forehead giggling through my already prepared opinion about euthanasia. The panel and I had a good laugh and the interview was over, much in the same manner they featured Utah and Wyoming’s mock interviews.  That part was not shown on TV and it’s very unfortunate that ABC edited it this way. We did so many wonderful things during those long 3 days and had many fun and laughable moments, all the while the crew telling us how impressed they were with our program, but none of that was shown. Instead, ABC thought it was more entertaining to catch a moment and not give it any dignity.  Lara Spencer came to me the week before Christmas for more interviews.  She asked me about the blunder in the mock and I recalled the scene with her but they only saved how I was embarrassed and felt dumb.

Another interesting note, ABC was there in Vegas to follow up right after my Miss America interview last week.  They asked me about the infamous Euthanasia question I had quickly become famous for, so I held my head high and had fun with it. None of that was shown either!  It almost seemed that they were not interested in laughing WITH me, only AT me.  I’m so glad I have a wonderful team of love around me to understand this crazy thing. Even my friend, Bill Handel on KFIAM640 and his producers, made a sweet effort on his shows prior to Miss America and after to stick up for me and talked about how careless editing can injure a person’s character and intentions and they gave me some amazing creds.

Ya know, here I was worried after all this heartbreak about what my legacy would be as Miss California 2012.  I guess if all else fails, perhaps I could use the headline from a recent internet article about me: “Miss California invents a new vaccine!” Not too shabby!

In closing, I have to say that I feel SO BLESSED to be Miss California.  MA didn’t turn out how I wanted nor expected, but I have the best six months of my life coming up.  There is so much more to do and I have made a new list of goals to achieve.
I am SOOO happy for Mallory Hagan, our new Miss America! She is one cool chick! She is spunky, fun, outspoken, and REAL.  The judges for sure got that right!  I loved getting to know Mallory all week and I know she will be a memorable and relatable Miss America. YOU GO GIRL!  I'm so proud of her. Let’s make sure to give her a great California welcome at IHOP for CMN’s pancake day coming up this Spring!
   
To the Miss California Class of 2013, these next 6 months are about YOU and we are going to have a blast in Fresno and on a new Duke of Edinburg adventure I’m planning!  I hope ALL of you enroll after you win your local title! My goal is to make you ALL feel like rockstars and to make this the best experience of your life- win OR lose!  

I have a 9-day trip to France coming up next week, a trip to China, and a probable trip to Rome and Austria coming up as well.  So much excitement!  I have a Miss CA 2013 Class to make plans with and much more social media to post.  I feel desperate my year is half over!

My next stop before France is a weekend at the Miss Merced/Miss Yosemite Valley/Miss Sierra Nevada Pageant.  I will not be able to bring my harp, so I will be singing instead!  If I don't see you there, I hope to see you soon!  

I finish my blog post with a grateful and humble heart.  My cup runneth over with amazing people in my life and experiences of my past and yet to come!  

With love, 
Leah Cecil
Miss California 2012

12 comments:

  1. leah..you looked INCREDIBLE and I am so happy to see that you are still remaining so true to who you really are....you have always been so gracious and kind - I love that you still have that positive, happy attitude despite all that has happened. thank you for continuing to find the good!

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  2. Read your entire Blog, regardless of what happend, you are a great and wonderful Miss California and although i wasn't able to make it to Vegas. I know you represented us well. Excited for you and your upcoming events, Enjoy your time in France and China. <3

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  3. Leah. I was there the whole week to support my state's titleholder, Whitney Wood. And I picked a few that I loved during the week from other states. Thank you so much for sharing this. You were incredible and one of my favorites during the prelim nights. My mom and I talked about your dress multiple times over the week and your talent was stunning. You were beautiful in every portion and you represented your state well.

    Deidre || Love, The Skinnys

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  4. Leah, I'm so proud of you. I know you did everything in your power to prepare and brought the very best of who you are to Miss America. Since I work with video, I know that editing CAN and DOES often change a story… and it was the first thing that came to mind when I saw the 20/20 special.

    No one can ask for more than your best, and we'll never know what went through those judges' minds (although, I wish I could ask them a few questions). Thank you for keeping a positive attitude, for your determination, and for appreciating every moment of this journey. <3 <3

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  6. Leah - You have to know that our household, the two-of us, were watching you and cheering you on that night. I am so glad to see your blog post to know that you are keeping all of this in perspective - as hard as that may be. You are young and I can tell you that as we are in our 60's and "it hasn't turned out the way we thought it would", that in a way you are fortunate to learn those lessons at a young age. You are so right. You are so very blessed to be able to have this year to reign as Miss California and I'll bet there are hundreds of girls that would love to be in your place - even right now. Enjoy the rest of your year with all of the travel and opportunities and know that you have a lot of people who consider themselves very fortunate to be able to call you a friend. We sure hope to see you again sometime soon - John & Judy Crowder...(Brea)

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  8. Leah you are so awesome! I am in tears now after reading your beautifully written blog and I just want you to know that you are wonderful. I had so much fun with you at 4 am (yikes) talking to all kinds of news outlets around the country and eating danishes! I hope to see you again soon and I am so thankful for our friendship. Thank you for being YOU and for representing us all so well :)

    Love,

    Laura (Miss Florida)

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  9. Wow! So well written! We are so lucky to have you back in California for the next 6 months! I feel so blessed to call you my close friend and to have you as a Miss California sister for life! Love you Leah!

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  10. Simply beautiful. Wow. You have so much class and poise! I am HONORED to call you my Miss California sister. You have incredible things in your future! XO

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    1. Awww, thank you! Which Miss CA sister are you! ❤

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